bakadeshoo

You're enjoying your life. You feel blessed to be surrounded by all these people. Those who support you, those who you love.

I just wish you knew how I felt, sometimes. It just hurts. But I never know exactly why.

It's almost been one whole year since I've posted a journal entry. Only 54 minutes short, as of when I am typing this sentence. And wow. What a year has passed. So much has happened. To everyone. Not just the people I know. But also the people I don't know.

The natural disasters, and the wars, for example. That's a more recent example.

I'm wondering if I should have a dedicated blog instead of this dA journal, and make it private. Sometimes I just need...a place to rant on. I'd write in a proper diary as someone once suggested. But. I don't know. I don't want my parents ruffling through it innocently.

I don't like my parents sometimes. Actually, no. Just my dad. I just don't get him. I don't know.

There's...so much I feel I could type about. And if I typed about everything that happened in the past year, and everything I've thought about, everything I'm thinking about right now, and other things as well...I might as well type till well past 3U Maths exam starts. But there's really one thing I want to talk about. And that's myself.

I don't actually do that a lot, I realised. So I thought. Maybe I should...just go on and on.

The hardest person to know is often yourself.

Granted, I've changed a bit over the past year. Is it for the better, or the worse? I honestly don't know which outweighs what.

I also wanted to be closer to Him. But sometimes...I wish my parents could also understand. And let me. I think it's partially because of them, that I don't often get to talk to Him a lot.

And if He is truly out there...I wish He could give me a sign. No...pray. "Wishing" is useless with Him. I pray that He would give me a sign. There are simply...so many things I want to ask Him. And if the Father Lord knows all, then...I don't want him to tell me outright. But I at least want to know that He is there for me.

I'm sorry. I just feel like hopeless shit right now.

I guess my priorities have changed too. But sometimes...I don't know. I get torn by what I want and what I should do.

Don't expect me to post here again. If I do, then I will. If I don't, then good luck finding my blog.

And finally...鍾慧靈, if you're still out there, I want you to know that I still won't let go, no matter what. I'm sorry about how I was tonight. But, as I told you, I really do have a lot on mind at the moment. Please forgive me. Maybe we should talk after Wednesday, when our heads are hopefully clearer. I'm still slightly annoyed at "that thing we were talking about", but it wouldn't have hurt as much if it wasn't for what happened today. Every time I get a text...I keep wishing it was from you. But it never is. My heart still aches.
I love you. 羅子欣.

...I feel like shit again.

There's actually like, 101 things I could actually talk about in the journal entry. But there's so much to do, and so little time. So iunno. A shame, really. It would be nice to be able to come back even once every fortnight for a post.

Anyhow. Surprisingly, today's post will actually be about something productive. Or serious. Whatever.

Adobe Photoshop CS5. Would that ring any bells?

Yeah, apparently it's coming out in a few weeks time or something (correct me if I'm wrong), so yeah. I only got PS CS4 like, 5 months ago, and CS5 is out. >_>

But yeah. In case you didn't know, you might not have heard of a new "Content-Aware Fill" option thing in CS5. If you haven't watched it already, click on this link here to watch the YouTube video on it. Mind you, watch the whole thing, otherwise if you were like me and only skimmed it through the first time you watched it, you'll be like "WTF what just happened?". So yeah. That's the "HOLY SHIIIII-" video everyone's been talking about.

So. In a nutshell, what does content-aware fill do? Say if there is a picture of a park that you've taken. You like the grass, but you don't like the park bench that's in the way. Normally, you could delete the park bench and use the Clone Stamp tool to refill all the grass. It works, but it's just tedious.

But what the Content-Aware Fill will do is that it allows you to delete undesirable sections of images, and it will automatically fill in the resulting gap with coloured pixels, based on the area around the selection image. Essentially, when you come back from your cup of tea, you'll find that the park bench is gone and that fresh grass is in place.

No, you really can't trust that image of your best friend doing your mother anymore. So maybe that's a relaxing thought. XD

But seriously now. After this morning, I don't know why, but something occurred to me. Honestly. If Content-Aware Fill is so good, it might actually assist image thieves who steal images and claim it to be their own. I mean, all they need to do is select an existing watermark that's on the image of their choice and BAM. The dirt watermark is gone. The resulting filled area might not be exactly what had originally been on the initial image without the watermark in the way, but hell, who's going to know that? And then, the thief only needs to add THEIR OWN watermark, and suddenly, instant success. They produce a 'masterpiece artwork' in less than 5 minutes.

I mean, really now? I understand how generic photo-manipulation can be really taxing at times, especially if you have a lot of images to get through. But if it's going to assist the lazy in plagiarising work, I think Adobe should seriously consider what they are doing. It might be desirable for the person trying to cut at least 5 years off a photo of their mother. But the people who spend 48 hours on a beautiful artwork on the deviantART network might beg to differ if someone suddenly claims their artwork to be their own and there is no way to prove which is the original.

So yeah. Just my two cents for today. Your thoughts? Please leave them below.

P.S. Fuck. I was meant to be polishing my boots and brass for the cadet parade tomorrow, so I woke up at 9am. But I've spent till 10:52am watching 'Modern Warfare 2' campaign videos. >< I'm so effed. (For the record, it is Polyester Parade tomorrow)

Did I mention that it's not awesome to be capped during the school term faster than you get capped during the summer holidays? =="

Hi guys! So, Year 11 has started, and yeah. I can't believe it's only about 3 weeks since my last update. Feels like a month. But yeah. So how's everything been?

I really can't be bothered typing up that descriptive of a journal entry, but just a quick update:

In general, I guess my teachers are fine. Except for my Phys and English teacher. And perhaps Maths teacher. Not nice. We got dumped with a lot of work, now that we're in Year 11. Oh well. These 4 weeks seemed slightly fast. It shouldn't be long before the HSC is over. But that's another issue entirely...

...I really don't know what to go on about. ==" There's just so much, and so little time.

But yeah. I'm getting an uber long weekend this week. 8DD Wisdom teeth extraction. I'll have to stay at home on Monday, Tuesday and POSSIBLY Wednesday. Time to catch up on stuff. Ironic, really. Then I'll have to catch up on the stuff I missed on those 2/3 days.

Actually, I MIGHT be able to come to school for 3/4 periods. That would probably be it. Iunno. I'll see.

==" Really can't think of anything to write about. I could think of quite a bit yesterday. o_O

But yeah. Any suggestions, leave them in the comments section below. And I'll answer you during my LONG WEEKEND. *keeps rubbing it in; gets shot*

Yeah. Iunno. I feel lonely. "Comments, please, comments." [/MCH]

EDIT: ...FRICK. A minute ago, I just thought of something to say. Now I've forgotten it. But I've found something else to talk about, haha.

My fail memory really isn't helping me in life right now. =="

...yeah. That was all.

Anyway, how about the absolute values test we had today? That was pretty retarded. So working-out intensive. ==" And WHO DREW THE SCALING ON THE GRAPHS?! ==" Dammit.

So I'm typing this journal entry up in the middle of the night, because I get the feeling I won't get the chance to say anything as the term progresses. I hope I'll be wrong, but for legitimate reasons, and not procrastination. :L

So I've returned to school as a Year 11, and it certainly makes a change from the monotony of the holidays. Though in exchange for that, I'll be getting loads of work, and yeah.

Can't think of much to type about. Minds tend to get fuzzy at this time of night, no?

But yeah. On another note, lol. My artworks have been favourited by people about 420 times now (in total), and I'm nearing 5,500 pageviews. I don't know. It doesn't seem significant to me, the pageviews. But the favourites are a real encouragement. So I take this brief opportunity to thank everyone who has been supporting me and bearing with me for the past 1.5 years on dA. I guess, without this whole community, I would, one, never have gotten into traditional art again, and digital art at all. And secondly, everyone has been helping me improve over this time.

But I'm afraid, as I will be entering Year 11, time for browsing dA will start to become limited, so my dedication to artwork and this site will decrease. I will come back once in a while, I mean. But if you're going to ask me stuff or simply want to chat, then bear with me. If I respond too quickly for your liking, scold me. XD

I hope I'll still have time to update this tomorrow. But if not, then this'll be it. I'll probably change my journal-posting habits from once a week to about once every three weeks or perhaps even a month. I'll see.

And for everyone else, good luck in your studies or future pursuits. Signing off.

bakadeshoo